Hi, this is Tommy again. Communication may be ‘verbal’ or ‘non verbal’. Sometimes ‘non verbal’ communication has a more powerful impact than ‘verbal’ communication. ‘Non-verbal’ communication includes all kinds of emotional expressions, actions, body language, meaningless words or even being silent.
More than 300 years ago, Sir Isaac Newton laid down his third law of motion: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” This law best applies to communication. If we communicate something positive, it brings back something positive to us. Similarly, if we communicate something negative, it brings back something negative to us.
There is no doubt that communication is a two way street. You might have excellent skills, but if the other person does not, then you might be misunderstood. This is why it’s important not only to develop your speaking skills, but also your listening skills. Personally I believe this is the hardest skill to learn. Everything today is so fast paced that we don’t take the time to listen and then our production is not maximized.
Since you can’t affect the skill level of others, the only thing you can do is strengthen your own communication skills. Besides, when you’re an excellent communicator, more people will understand you, everything around you will run more efficiently, and you’ll more often get what you want!
Try these strategies to improve your communication skills:
1. Avoid arguing. If you run into a snag in a conversation and it starts to morph into an argument, step back and realize what’s going on. It’s easy to get swept up into the blame game, but ultimately it’s not important who’s at fault. What’s important is the mutual understanding of the issue at hand and a desire for a solution that benefits everyone.
2. Don’t be afraid to compromise. You may be tempted to try and “win” but that’s not the best way to reach a mutual agreement. You may be happier with getting your way, but it may come at the expense of the other person, which can cause further issues. Find a good compromise that you both can willingly accept.
3. Work on listening. Your listening skills are even more important than your speaking skills. After all, how will you know what you should say – and when – if you haven’t effectively listened? Listen more than you speak and you’ll gain a profound wisdom of others, too!
4. Keep your focus. Communication will get overly complicated if you worry about too many issues at once. Avoid bringing up the past or other issues and, instead, focus on the one topic at hand.
5. Stay calm and take responsibility. Adopt a calm and cool manner of handling situations. When things remain low key, it’s easier to communicate and get your point across. This also means that you need to take responsibility for what you say. Don’t be afraid to admit mistakes when you’re wrong.
As you move forward in your professional life try to ask yourself the following questions: Am I a good listener? Do I give the other person a chance to explain their position even though I totally disagree and try to compromise?
Until next time,
Tommy Parsons
