A few weeks ago, one of the B&L Campus Team Leaders, Larry Liebling, brought up a controversial subject about eye contact. Since I feel eye contact is important to build trust and rapport with the person you’re talking to, I asked Alex, one of our Interns, to do some research on the subject and to provide me with additional information on the subject. Here’s what he came up with:
NLP
http://www.nlp-now.co.uk/nlp_eyecontact.htm
This site contains courses, a blog, and a newsletter all done by a member of the NLP. It this particular newsletter, it talks a lot about eye contact and some myths about it and how to use it to your advantage. It does not state that eye contact is unnecessary, but rather that some people think good eye contact means staring at the person’s eyes the entire time they are talking. The article goes on to talk about how to utilize eye contact to your advantage to build trust and rapport.
Some view that as the sole use of eye contact, but even if that is all they believe it’s used for, isn’t that important?
All About Japanese Etiquette
http://www.all-about-teaching-english-in-japan.com/japaneseetiquette.html
You may be asking, Japanese Etiquette, what? But it is an interesting point. It talks about how a general rule is to make eye contact 25% of the time. What does this mean? Do the Japanese people trust each other less because there is less eye contact? Do they learn less?
It is interesting to look at how another culture views eye contact.
Associated Content
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/507603/why_eye_contact_is_important_and_tips.html
This is an opinion of somebody, not associated with the NLP, that talks about the same ideas that NLP discussing. It is a good article because it differentiates between eye contact and staring.
The Self Center
http://self-center.com/Why_Some_People_Engage_In_More_Eye_Contact_Than_Others.html
This is a good assessment of how and why people engage in eye contact and also gives a list of probable reasons for making eye contact.
The Internet TELS Journal
http://iteslj.org/Techniques/Darn-EyeContact.html
This journal talks about the importance of eye contact in the classroom from a teacher’s perspective.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Let’s keep the discussion going.
That’s it for now. I’ll see YOU around the Campus!
About Kelli Claypool
The issue about eye contact is a big one in our society.
One thing I learned rather late in life is that some people have issues, like high functioning autism, or other types of syndromes, who appear normal in most aspects, but have issues with making eye contact. It really does not mean they’re untrustworthy.
But making appropriate eye contact can be practiced and learned, which tells me further that actions matter more than almost anything since everything else can be faked.
Excellent, Stephanie. I’ve been studying personality types and behaviors, lately, and it is very true about how some people find it rather difficult to make eye contact.
Looking at body language also tells me if the person is paying attention, not be honest, or is simply not interested in our conversation.
This is a great debate and I love how Alex shared with us the Japanese culture.
Thank you so much for your comment. I loved reading it!!